What do you do when you wake up in your mid 40’s and realize that over the past 5 years everything you based your life on for the past 20+ isn’t what you thought. What do you do when you realize there is a good chance that the main thing you have in common with your wife is not a shared value any longer. Wow! These are profound questions I am facing right now. I fear, and I don’t use that word lightly, that if I communicate how I feel the fit will hit the shan and my life will become hell. But the longer I go that I do not believe I want more and more to tell someone. Get this off my chest with somebody who means something to me. Someone who will not judge me but will listen to me and help me explore what I am going through.
In the mean time I still participate. I still am involved but feel a need to be genuine. I still see an opportunity to breathe some sanity into the Bat $h!+ crazy stuff that goes on. I still see an opportunity to do good to my fellow man. I still see that as mankind’s duty to each other … to be excellent to one another. And in a small way I can still do that. But eventually I will have to spill. I still see some good that can come from the organization.